


Blood Sugar Sex Magick

by trr_rr



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Casual Sex, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, M/M, Meditation, Rituals, Sex Magic, buddy system 2 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:00:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22789894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trr_rr/pseuds/trr_rr
Summary: Rhett discovers a mystical book at the Flea market. Link thinks it creepy but agrees to help his buddy to perform a magical spell.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 23
Kudos: 43





	Blood Sugar Sex Magick

**Author's Note:**

> Sex magic is really wild. I used "Modern Sex Magick" by Donald Kraig as a reference as the books allows for the practice of Homosexual magic rituals (Eleventh tier) between willing partners and gives them significance whereas some books are hateful and exclude same sex rituals (which is a dumb and ugly thing to do). Please enjoy. Let me know what you think.

When returning home from the fancy-pants flea market in his holographic hipster shades, Rhett could not wait to share his find with his live in best friend, Link.

“Link, you have got to see what I found at the flea market.”

Link was sat in his usual place at the table. He was loading a single ring of cereal with just the right amount of milk onto his spoon from his favourite bowl. Rhett set his recycled tote bag on the table and folded it over to present his find.

“Hello, Rhett.” Link continued with his cereal. His moustache waggled when he licked a drop of milk from his lips.

“It’s a book. Look at it, man.” Rhett lifted the book with both hands. He held his breath and could hardly tear his gaze from it. “It’s probably the most awesome thing I ever bought.”

“It’s an old book.” Link said matter of factly. He rolled his eyes and put down his spoon.

“This.” Rhett breathed. “This is more than just a book, Link. This is the ancient answer to all of my prayers.”

“A stinky old book?”

“Stinky or not, between these pages lies sacred mystical scripture.”

“You bought a bible?”

“No, Link.” Rhett set the book down back on his folded tote and sat in his own chair with purpose to explain. “Listen, you know how I have been working really hard with my tasting notes lately? Like extra hard because I want the pay rise that would come with the promotion they’re offering at the end of the month?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I’m tired of working hard and I’ve been looking for something that can give me what I want without putting in any effort. And this.” Rhett rested his palm across the cover of the book. “This is the answer to my problem.”

“So it’s a How-to-be-a-Taste-Maker book?”

“No, Link.” Rhett spoke with purpose. “This is a book of magic.”

Link laughed. He held up his hand so as to hide his giggle but Rhett was still offended.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Rhett, magic tricks are not going to help you.”

“It’s not tricks, Link. When I saw the book laying there on the table, between the ugly lamps and questionable DVDs, I just felt myself drawn to it. And the lady at the stall had deep, mystical eyes and long, grey hair and she looked like the type to burn sage and buy soap at lush and her vibe just-”

As Rhett told his boring recount of how he had been scammed by a crazy old cat lady into buying a stupid book, Link finally took notice of the item in question. He had to agree, it did look cool.

Wrinkled and dog eared, the book had yellow inner pages. The front cover was made from soft tan leather. The title read “Ecstatic Ritual: The Left Hand Path”. The front was embossed with an image that, Link could only assume, was an etching of the garden of Eden. In the centre was a tree with a snake wrapped around the trunk. Upon closer inspection, Link realized the the tree trunk was a skeleton and the branches were full of leaves and apples. To the left was Adam. Naked. To the right was Eve, also naked. Link looked away.

“I don’t like this, Rhett.”

“You really don’t listen to me when I talk, do you? Link, this is the answer. She said the book picks its reader. I didn’t go out today hoping to find a miracle but here it is.” Rhett stroked the cover.

“So, what type of stuff is in there? Like, how to get a girlfriend through hypnosis or like, how to make people poop their pants as a prank?”

Rhett shook his head. “You don’t get it, man.” He gathered his book and his tote bag and left the room to go read by himself.

Link had a bad feeling in his belly. He knew nothing good could come from skipping hard work. He scooped up more cereal and continued eating. He cared for Rhett and usually enjoyed the passion with which he approached new interests. This new development just seemed, for lack of a better word, spooky.

“Okay.” Rhett began later as he sat down next to Link on the couch, creepy book in hand.

“Rhett, I’m watching my how to make a recycled bird house show.”

“Okay, pause it, just hear me out.”

Link gave a very heavy sigh so that Rhett would know he was tired of the subject. He paused his show.

“Listen, when I started to read this, I thought it was bull poop, okay, but now, man, I know this stuff is real.” Rhett’s eyes went wide. “But it turns out, the rituals I wanna perform need two participants.”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time in your room, Rhett. And I heard some weird noises. Like, not normal noises. There was smoke coming from under the bedroom door.”

“That’s just the chanting and the incense.”

Link stared.

“So, I wondered if you would do me a solid.”

Link continued to stare.

“This book is wonderful. I’ve tried a few of the solo spells in here and they have made me feel powerful, made my hair shiny and opened my third eye wider than I ever thought it could stretch.”

“Rhett, please, that’s too much information.”

“So anyway, I just need you to help me out with a couple spells. Won’t take long, just a few evenings of your time and if you thinks its cool, we can explore it further together, okay?”

“Why can’t we do this during the daytime?”

“The moon has to be out for these particular spells to work. Come on, as a buddy, just do this one thing, for me?” Rhett fluttered his god-damn eyelashes.

“Okay, fine. But you will owe me, okay? I’m not into all this hippy new age stuff. When I was a teenager my pastor told me not to pray with other people because it’s too intimate. That stuff should just be between you and God.”

“Trust me, we don’t need God to be present when we perform the spells I’m thinking of.”

That night, a few hours after the sun had set, Link knocked on the bedroom door and Rhett opened it with his eyes shut. He was wearing a floaty peach robe over his usual clothes.

“Please come in, Link.” Rhett gestured into the room and stood aside for Link to enter.

Link stepped into Rhett’s bedroom, which was also his own bedroom. He stood stiffly with his arms at his side. He pushed his glasses up his nose. The room was fogged with incense and it caught at the back of Link’s throat. He coughed into his hand. The curtains were wide open. It was dark, say for the silver moon light and three candles; one red, one black and one white, stood in a triangular formation around the open book of magic in the centre of the floor.

“That’s a fire hazard.” Link commented.

“Link, you have not read the sacred text.” Rhett nodded to the book on the floor between the candles. “I want you to know that you can stop this anytime. Given your hesitance to step into the realms of magick, I am grateful that you have agreed to be my partner in the following ritual.”

“I can hear it when you pronounce the K in that word.” Link scratched the back of his neck and laughed. “You’re not going to sell my soul are you?”

“No. Not for the first phase.” Rhett smiled down at him. “When you are ready, please join me in sitting crossed legged on the opposite side of the Triograph.”

Link had no idea what a Triograph was. He assumed it was the three candles when Rhett knelt and folded his legs under the window, facing the book.

“Uh, okay.” Link mumbled as he sat across from Rhett so that they had to look across the flames and the book to see each other.

“Beauty, glory, victory, foundation” Rhett held up one hand, palm facing Link, as he spoke. “Link, as my partner, you are the physical manifestation of my higher self.”

Was that a compliment? Link kept quiet while Rhett leaned forward and turned a page in the book. He read from it aloud, Link watched his eyes flit over the words.

“Link, in the Seventh Degree. Rhett, in the Eighth. In coming together in ritual, may we culminate our practice to achieve the Eleventh Degree. And in doing so, enable the manifestation of our deepest desire.”

Link was reminded of Halloween. The incense was heady, once the choking sensation wore off. He had no idea what the scents were but Link could tell they were expensive.

“To initiate you as my partner, Link, we must perform the Rite of Bondage.”

That did not sound good to Link. That sounded like something perverted.

“Um. What does that mean? Does it hurt?”

“No, it won’t hurt. These are special candles. Watch.” Rhett lifted the wide red candle and held out his palm. He tilted the flame and red wax poured onto his hand to form a line of molten wax. “Please hold out your hand Link, palm up.”

The wax was hot but it did not burn Link’s skin. The flame flickered when Rhett set it back down in its place on the floor.

“Now, we press our palms together.”

Link hesitated. They had never held hands. They had shook hands and given high fives but never had they pressed their palms together for an extended period. But Rhett nodded and held out his hand. The wax was still soft when Link lifted his left hand to Rhett’s. Their fingers entwined and a tingling chill ran up his back.

“That’s great, Link. Now the other hand, I’m going to place on my chest, just over my heart and I’m going to do the same with my hand on your chest. Is that going to be okay?”

The whole ritual thing became intimate very suddenly. Link could feel Rhett’s palm sweat against his own. He thought there might be a few abracadabras and maybe a rabbit in a hat. This was much more than he bargained for.

“Yeah. I guess.”

Rhett took Link’s free hand with his own and placed it slowly over his heart. Link enjoyed the feeling of peach silk against his fingers and then gasped when he felt Rhett’s heart beat strong and sure. Then, as Link was still enraptured, he felt Rhett’s hand settle upon his own chest. Link could heart his own heart beat in his ears and he assumed Rhett must be able to feel how worked up he was becoming through his chest.

“And now we just breathe, Link. If you copy me, we’ll breathe for ten cycles. In through the nose, deeply, and out through the mouth.”

Rhett’s nostrils flared as he sucked in air, he nodded at Link and he followed suit. On the out breath, Link felt Rhett’s chest sink back. When he felt it rise again his gaze shifted to Rhett’s eyes.

Caught in the intensity, Link shuddered. Deep eye contact and synchronized breathing proved to be a powerful drug. Link again noticed how steady Rhett’s heart was beating. What a wonderful sensation. Somehow, he felt his own nerves fall away and his heart’s rhythm slowed to echo Rhett’s own.

“That’s it, Link. That’s great. Keep breathing with me.”

“This is weird, Rhett.”

“Yeah but it feels good, right?” Rhett’s eyes flicked down tot he book again. “So here it says we can now do some visualisation. I’ll run through a simple vision to see if we are compatible for drawing power together.”

Link nodded. He trusted Rhett and he could always bail and lock himself in the bathroom if it got too deep.

“Link, I want you to sit tall. Shoulders back. That’s great, keep breathing with me. You have powerful shoulders, Link. Head up, as though there were a string at the crown of your head, pulling up into the heavens.”

Link had to admit, it did feel good to breath in a measured way with someone to guide him.

“Feel the circle of connection we have. Our hands, the points of connection to each other. Hands and fingers are important tools.” Rhett’s voice was light and clear. “The relation of body to the soul is not what you have come to believe. They are one and the same. No body without spirit, no spirit without a vessel in which to manifest.”

“I don’t know what’s going on but this all feels pretty good, Rhett. I’m, haha, I’m actually having fun.” Link found himself grinning like a fool.

“That’s great. Okay, I need you to close your eyes, and picture heat running up and down your spine. All down the middle of your body. You can feel it starting in your chest, running down your back like hot water all the way to the base of your spine. Do you feel it?”

“Uh, kinda.”

“It’s warm. It feels clean and good. Its a white hot light, its beaming through your body in a column of intention. You feed it. You generate with your own body and spirit.”

Link felt himself blush. He could feel it. He could feel energy radiate from the root of his nerves.

“Are you there, Link? Can you feel it?” Rhett let out a measured breath from between his lips.

“Yeah. I do, I feel it. It’s crazy!” Link laughed.

“That’s fantastic. Now, take that heat and let it run down your arms. Send it to me and I’ll send mine back and we’ll make a powerful circuit of light and good intention.”

That was not how circuits worked. Link could remember learning about electricity in school. He never knew it was something you could tap into with dumb, spooky magic.

“Send it down your arms, Link. Into the palm of your hands.”

As Link squeezed his eyes shut tight to let the light move inside him, he felt the wax between his and Rhett’s hands become sticky and wet.

“Oh!” Link opened his eyes and saw the red wax drip from their clasped hands. It travelled in thin rivulets down their arms “Oh my gosh, Rhett, look.”

Rhett only smiled, as though her were a mystic sage, and nodded.

“Did I do that? I mean, are we doing that?”

“Yes. Link, keep breathing. I know its exciting but we can keep going. There’s more. Close your eyes again. We can finish he induction.”

Link closed his eyes with determination. He could not believe that this mumbo-jumbo had done something that was actually cool. Now that he felt the power inside himself, the power he could share with Rhett, of course he wanted to be a partner in this. Magic was neat.

“Feel the crackle of energy between our hands, Link. Feel the steady beating of our hearts. I can feel the joy radiating through your soul and you can feel the heat in mine.”

Link nodded, though he knew Rhett’s eyes were closed.

“Now we enter the last phase, the channel of energy to the sacral chakra. That’s a point deep in your body. The root of your power. So gather the energy we have generated together. Breathe in joy, breathe out fear. Take the energy from your heart, from the crown of your head and feel it cascade down your body, like a shower, to pool deep down, below your gut, at the base of your spine.”

The room became warmer. Link could feel sweat gather in his hair. The sensation vibrated all through his body. He imagined the light, flowing around his system, though his own body and through Rhett’s where they touched.

“Intense.”

“Yes. It’s intense because you’ve never felt your own power before. It’s okay, Link. Just lean into it. Feel the energy gather. Let it happen.”

There was a gathering of energy, in a way that Link had not been prepared for. Maybe it was the intimacy, maybe it was the deep connection or the exciting visualisation but Link found himself filling out his boxers with a magical boner as Rhett continued to guide him.

“However your body is feeling, Link. There’s no judgement, just acceptance. Trust me, Link. Embrace your power fully. I accept you. As you are.”

The sweat between their palms became kind of gross. Link opened his eyes and the hand he had pressed to Rhett’s chest was clutching at his shirt. Link looked down into his lap and he saw between Rhett’s crossed legs, a bulge in his pants that answered Link’s own.

“Um.”

“It’s alright. Stay with the breath. Don’t hesitate. Let yourself fill with white light. Cleansing, joyful, all embracing.”

“Rhett, let go of my hand.” Link coughed as the incense once again tickled at the back of his throat. Their hands came apart and Link wiped the waxy residue off onto his pants. He shifted tucked his legs underneath himself. “I need to leave.”

‘Are you okay? What happened?” Rhett’s eyes were deep and dark, he blinked up at Link with concern.

“I just. I’m uncomfortable.” Link stood and inched awkwardly to the door. “Maybe this isn’t for me. I’m sorry, man. I, I’ll make it up to you.”

Link opened the door and shut it as he left. He leaned back against it and panted hard. What had he gotten into. Was that supposed to happen? Why was Rhett not freaking out? Link had so many questions, he decided it would be better to just keep quiet for the next few days and not talk to Rhett till this all blew over.

They did not speak the next morning. Link could not believe how exciting the whole thing had been. How he had indeed felt powerful as Rhett had instructed. He was not sure what it felt like to have a third eye but Link felt like his had been opened at least a little through Rhett’s soothing voice and vibrant spirit guiding his heart.

It had been a happy, healing experience. Why the heck did he feel so ashamed. Maybe getting a hard on was just part of the breathing cycle. Maybe all that air in and out caused the blood to rush south.

Gosh, he was in too deep. He felt like he couldn’t concentrate on his TV shows all day. Link rearranged his sock drawer, alphabetized the cereal cupboard and thoroughly combed his moustache when Rhett got home from work. Link decided to swallow his shame and confront him in the kitchen.

“Link, before you say anything, I want to apologize.”

Link shut his mouth.

“I pushed you too far without telling you exactly what kind of magic we were getting into. It gets deep and it gets intense and I know you have anxiety issues and this is all a big mess and its all my fault.” Rhett looked down at the kitchen floor. “I just hope you can forgive me. I feel like such a dork for pushing this thing on you.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine.” Link waved a hand. “I didn’t even, its not a big deal.”

“So, I decided, seeing as you’re not feeling the vibe with me, I’d find another partner to perform rituals with.” Rhett pulled a bottle of nut-milk from his tote bag and put it in the fridge. “You’re not crazy about the whole processes and I decided, given the disaster last night, that I’d find a new guy.”

“Oh.”

“So I went online.” Rhett pulled out his cell phone with the fluffy white cover. “His name is Jared, he lived like, five minutes away and he says he’d love to come over and try some stuff out.”

Rhett showed Link the screen. It was a dating sight. There was a photo of a very handsome man with piercing blue eyes and stubble. He had his shirt off, he clearly worked out and he was tanned, too.

“So he’s coming over tonight. He said he’s never done s-, uh, magick. So it’ll be fun to see if we connect. Hope you don’t mind us using the bedroom for a couple hours?”

“Well, no.”

“Might wanna turn the volume up on your shows tonight, just in case the chanting gets a little loud.” Rhett smiled and patted Link on the shoulder. “Thanks for understanding, buddy.”

And with that Rhett was off. Link heard him start up his Enya play list, which usually meant he was running a bubble bath.

Good for Rhett. Good that he’d found another magic partner to quickly. On a dating site. That was fine. Good. Now Link would not have to worry about disappointing him. The problem was solved. Out of Link’s hands. No longer his problem.

So why the heck did it feel so bad. He felt rejected. Link knew this Jared dude was not right for Rhett. Link could feel it. But it was not his place to pry.

Link decided to resolve his feelings the only way he knew how. Four hours of boring, unexciting television programming. He took the biggest bowl he could find, filled it with dry cereal and hunkered down on the sofa. He turned up the volume, ignored the Enya blasting from the bathroom and settled in for a good few hours of watching paint dry.


End file.
